For information about my complete Wedding Reveption Entertaining service, please refer to my www.DaveMillerWeddings.com web site.

Please don't let the title of "Reverend" confuse or mislead you. I perform a wedding ceremony that can be described both as "secular" and "spiritual".

During my years as a wedding entertainer, I've been to more than my fair share of wedding ceremonies. I've seen both good and bad officiants. Some officiants read as if they were at a funeral, while other officiants would 'wing it', but get off-track. One got off-track to the point where she talked about her own marriage and subesquent divorce. That's right. She used the word 'Divorce' at a wedding ceremony.

It was then that I realized that a wedding ceremony needs someone with passion, and an entertainment background, to deliver the words in an engaging, meaningful manner. I took the steps necessary to become an Ordained Clergy Person so I could be a Reverend, officiating at wedding ceremonies.

I allow, and even encourage, the bride and groom to customize the elements and even the exact wording, to create a ceremony that is truly their own. Because of this unique customization, I read from a printed copy of the script, so I never get off-track or 'wing it'.

Additionally, I can offer a small sound system and create a mini-reception immediately after the ceremony. The mini-reception can include a first dance, parent dances, toast, garter and bouquet toss, and even a cake cutting if desired. This is a great option for those couples that are planning on a small ceremony without a full reception. Of course, if you are planning on a full reception, I'd be happy to be your reception entertainer as well.

I have package pricing which could save you money by hiring me for both services, but there is no obligation.

I officiate in a style that is entertaining, engaging, meaningful and spiritual. One that not only reflects bride's and groom's style, taste and desires, but helps their guests feel more like participants rather than mere spectators.

I offer ceremony options most other officiants do not offer and am open-minded to unusual requests. Additionally, many wedding officiants are locked into a specific script and may refuse to tailor it to the couple's wishes. While I have a standard script, it is much more of a starting point for customization rather than "What I always say." You can change the words as much as you like.

Anything you want.

The State, and The Church of Spiritual Humanism, requires that one way or another, in front of witnesses, you declare your love for each other. Beyond that, it can be as long or as short as you wish. The content, and even the exact wording, is completely up to you.

While most couples think that only their vows can be customized, nothing could be further from the truth. If you want, you can create something completely unique.

The Church of Spiritual Humanism is the Church thru which I was ordained. While your personal beliefs will not be questioned, the Church believes that spirituality comes from within, and does not endorse the belief of a higher power. On the other hand, The Church does not dismiss it either.

The Church's only ruling on this matter is that the notion of a higher power not be part of the Church's business or services. Therefore, at the wedding ceremony, I will not make any reference or mention of God or other religious figures.

If you are uncomfortable with the idea of having a wedding ceremony that does not mention or acknowledge God, then using my officiating services might be a mistake, and you should seek out a wedding officiant affiliated with a mainstream religion.

On the other hand, if that does not bother you, and you want a wedding ceremony without the constraints and required passages that mainstream religion would insist upon, then I'm your man.

Please note: The rule only applies to me. There's nothing stopping you from honoring one of your guests by having that person step up to the microphone to say a religious blessing or read a biblical passage.

The Church of Spiritual Huminism is not a traditional Church. It exists primarily as an internet web site. Although that may sound fishy, it IS recognized by many states including NJ and NY, which makes the Church, and your wedding, if perfromed in NJ or NY, perfectly legal.

Since I live in NJ near the NY border, those were the only states I investigated prior to becoming ordained. As is indicated on the official state websites linked below, these states are very liberal about what sort of clergy member can officiate. I have performed weddings in both states without problems.

The laws, or at least the official state website linked below for neighboring Connecticut, is not so clear and doesn't specify anything about the officiant's requirements.

Pennsylvania is an entirely different matter, as each county abides by it's own interpretation of the state's rules. Some counties are very liberal about the requirements of the officiant, some counties don't ask questions, while others have a very strict interpretation of who can officiate. If you're planning a Pennsylvania wedding, be sure to ask the office that issues licenses what the requirements are.

For more information about marriage laws, please refer to theese official state web sites for the location where you are planning your wedding:

New Jersey
New York State, excluding New York City
New York City
Connecticut
Pennsylvania

This is entirely up to you.

Currently, my wedding document contains: Entrance, Greetings, Memorials, Objections, Family & Friends Vows, Vows, Ring Exchange, Adoption, Unity Candle, Sand Ritual, Hand Fasting, Proclamation, Kiss, Blessing, Toast, Breaking Glass, Presentation and Inspirational Readings. You can eliminate any section, and change the words as you see fit, for the sections that remain.

If there is a tradition that you wish to include that isn't listed, just talk to me. Usually, it's no problem. For example, the Adoption ritual is a recent addition, as requested by a bride that wanted to have her children included in the wedding ceremony in a big way.

Yes.

But unlike the wedding ceremony, I have no legal authority to preside over an adoption procedure. If adoption is desired, you still have to go thru family court to make it legal. Of course, there's no reason not to have a spritual adoption, one which binds an entire family, in addition to the bride and groom, as part of your wedding ceremony, if that's what you want.

It depends upon how much you include in the ceremony. I've done ceremonies that were as short as four minutes. The average is about 15 minutes. The longest was almost 25 minutes and when it was over, the bride thanked me for keeping it short.

There are a lot of variables involved, but it's not too hard to come up with a good estimate. In my Wedding Script, I give a guide to estimating the duration.

Required? None. But it's not a bad idea.

Each couple is provided a four page questionnaire. Using it is optional. If you do use it, you do not need to write down your answers, or even discuss the results with me.

The questionnaire should not be considered a substitute for professional pre-marital counseling. If the discussions of any of the questions give you any reason for concern, you would be well advised to talk with a professional before proceeding. But be aware that such a conclusion is not an indication that you shouldn't get married.

The purpose of the questionaire is not to see if a couple is compatible, or if they are good candidates for marriage. It merely designed to show whether professional guidance is advised. Of course, going to a professional counselor, even if you have no difficulty with any of the questions, is always a good idea.

Although I'd be happy to lend an ear if you want to discuss any issues, I do not have the type of training necessary to do real pre-marital counseling.

In addition to the questionnaire, I encourage couples to watch a very funny movie on the subject, titled, "License To Wed." starring Robin Williams. Be sure to watch the DVD bonus features too.

Yes.

While the laws are still changing, same sex unions may or may not be called "Weddings," and may not even be legal where you are planning your ceremony. If some form is legal, then I would be honored officiate and sign the necessary documents.

If it is not currently legal where you want your ceremony, then you can still have a ceremony, but without legal documentation.

While I'm not gay, I am a supporter of Gay and Lesbian Rights. Maybe it's a stereotype, and maybe it's just that gays and lesbians are more open and demonstrative in their love, but it has been my observation that people in same-sex relationships tend to be more loving, and have stronger relationships, than people in traditional relationships. Love. Isn't that what it's all about?

I frequently tell the above 'Love' observation to my congresspeople. Of course, I will sometimes add, "Besides, if the love should ever fade, shouldn't gays and lesbians be entitled to a bitter, messy divorce, just like everyone else?"

For more information, go to www.SameLoveSameRights.com.

If your ceremony will take place in the state where either of you live, you can apply for the license anywhere in the state. Contact the Registrar of Vital Statistics for details. In small towns, this is often the same as the town clerk. If neither of you live in the state where the ceremony will take place, you must apply at the Registrar in the town where it will take place. In either case, be sure to call first to ask all of your questions, and find out what you need to bring with you, before you take time off from work to take care of this.

Typical requirements include multiple forms of ID, copies of Divorce Decrees or Certificates of Death for prior marriages, Witness, and Waiting Time. Blood tests haven't been required for years.

On the wedding day, the license gets signed by me and your witnesses. The witnesses can be any guests over 18 uears old, but are typically your Maid of Honor and Best Man. Signing can be done at any time after the ceremony. I prefer to do it at some point during cocktail hour, after getting the attention of your guests so they can watch the formalities. Some brides prefer to do this in private, either at the photo location, or in the bridal suite. Others have asked to do this at some point in the reception itself. The choice is yours.

If you are going to have a real rehearsal, then, yes, I will attend, participate and direct. If you are having a rehearsal dinner without rehearsal, then I will attend only if you wish it.

In all cases, attendance to the rehearsal will only be if my schedule permits.

If I'm not asked to stay for the reception, I make my exit near the end of Cocktail Hour.

Unlike many officiants that not only expect to be invited to the reception, but often expect their spouse to be invited as well, I do not require such an invitation. While I'd be honored to be asked to stay for dinner, I understand the realities of expensive catering fees and what are frequently over-stretched wedding budgets.